Chucky has always been a cocky little murderer. The pint-sized doll with the 10 gallon swagger isn’t bashful when discussing the inferior horror icons who dare to compare themselves to the redheaded, overalled, slaying sensation. He recently sat down with EW to discuss his upcoming series, and took the opportunity to let these second-rate slaughterers know what to expect if they ever cross his path.
Hannibal Lecter’s moniker Hannibal the Cannibal would have most folks locking their doors and hiding their condiments, but not Chucky. He’s got plans for the cadaver connoisseur.
“I wouldn’t eat his liver; liver’s disgusting. And fava beans make me fart. Hannibal’s brain is the last thing I’d eat – everyone knows that can give you mad cow disease. That’s why Leatherface is so f—ed up. Maybe I’d turn Hannibal into chili dogs and eat him with fries and a Coke. The guy’s such a f—ing snob, he’d die of embarrassment.”
Freddy Krueger showing up in your dreams is a sure sign you won’t hear the alarm clock in the morning. The man with the burnt mug and pointy glove, might not just have physical pain doled out from Chucky, he might get his feelings hurt!
“He’s a pretty chill dude. We hang out in my nightmares. Anyway, Freddy tells the lamest jokes you’ve ever heard. For that alone, he deserves to die. So I’d just give him a taste of his own medicine. I’d pun him to death: ‘Hey, Freddy, here’s my definition of slash fiction!’ Or: ‘You’re a real dream come grue!’ See? Painful, isn’t it?”
As for Annabelle, Tiffany Valentine is more than equipped to take on the pig-tailed terror. Chucky is letting his better half take the lead, doll to doll.
“Tiffany says she’d do this one for me. Annie and Tiff, they hate each other. I’ll let Tiff speak for herself: ‘Chucky’s exaggerating. I don’t hate Anna Dumb-belle – I just feel sorry for her. Imagine going through life with that face. And that hair – what is she thinking? I’d just put her out of her misery by putting acid in her rosacea cream.'”
Michael Myers might be pure evil, but he better pick up the pace if the two-foot and change slicer and dicer can outrun him.
“I’d just out-stalk him. Dude is slow. Plus, my butcher knife is bigger.”
Anyway you slice it (eh?), you don’t want to be on Chucky and his Valentine’s Kill Bill list. They’re not just out for revenge. They’re looking for some recreation! See the duo in action as they take on a slew of new victims in Chucky, the new USA/SYFY series.
Zackary Arthur leads the new cast as Jake Wheeler with his co-stars including Bjorgvin Arnarson as Devon Evans, Alyvia Alyn Lind as Lexy Cross, Teo Briones as Junior Wheeler, Devon Sawa as Lucas Wheeler, and Lexa Doig as Bree Wheeler. Along with Brad Dourif as Chucky, returning franchise stars include Jennifer Tilly as Tiffany Valentine, Fiona Dourif as Nica Pierce, Alex Vincent as Andy Barclay, and Christine Elise as Kyle. Don Mancini, who penned the film franchise, wrote the television adaptation, will direct the first episode and serves as showrunner.
Watch the premiere of Chucky, October 12 at 10/9c on SYFY and USA. This news was originally published at Entertainment Weekly.